Meditation for Compassion

I’ve been reflecting on compassion as a shift in perspective: from denying or avoiding suffering to truly seeing and feeling it; from focusing solely on our own pain to recognizing that others are suffering too. In this shift, we begin to realize that we are not alone.

Meditation is a powerful tool for training our brain to shift perspective. And there are specific meditation practices that can help us open the heart, deepen understanding, and nurture compassion for others.These practices are especially supportive in times of personal suffering, where compassion becomes a source of healing and a pathway to enduring peace and happiness. When we cultivate compassion through meditation, it begins to flow more naturally and easily—bringing a greater sense of connection and shared humanity, helping us create a more peaceful, loving and joy-filled life for ourselves as well as for others. 

This week, let’s use meditation to gently open more fully to the feelings of others with empathy and care. Here are three meditation practices you can try, each one helping to cultivate compassion and reminding us that, beneath our differences, we are deeply connected. The last two may be familiar to you, so instead of detailed explanation I include links to my previous offerings.  The first one is so lovely I hope you will find five minutes to try it today.  

As these are meditations, I invite you to find a quiet spot (these days it’s beautiful to practice outside) and settle comfortably enough to stay for a few minutes in stillness. Close your eyes if that feels good today.  Take a few deep breaths to slow down and focus your attention.  Then choose your meditation and begin.

 

COMMON HUMANITY PRACTICE - from The Dalai Lama
I discovered a lovely practice offered by the Dalai Lama in The Book of Joy*.  It also trains us to feel empathy for the feelings of others and reminds us that we are all deeply connected.  The Dalai Lama says that 10 minutes a day cultivating compassion will give you 24 hours of joy.  This is one way to do that.  So I’m pretty certain that he wouldn’t mind me sharing his words. Here is the Common Humanity Practice.  

1. Think of someone you love—a child, parent, close friend, or even a cherished pet. Bring their image into your mind and allow yourself to feel the love that you have for them. Notice the sense of warmth and openheartedness that comes from feeling your love for them.  Imagine their desire to be happy and to avoid suffering. Reflect on how they live their life to achieve these aspirations.

2. Think of someone you know but do not know well. You could think of a colleague at your job, someone in your class at school, or someone who works at one of the stores where you shop. Allow yourself to recognize how your feelings for this person are different from the feelings you have for the person you just had in mind. We often do not feel empathy or connection for those who we consider strangers. Perhaps you feel indifference, perhaps a sense of separation, or perhaps even judgment. Now try to imagine being this person. Imagine their life, their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their disappointments, Recognize that, just like you, they wish to achieve happiness and to avoid even the slightest suffering. Let your mind dwell in this realization and understand that you do not need an introduction because you already share the greatest bond—your humanity.

3. Take this awareness into the world. Start living from this newfound connection by opening your heart to those around you. You can start by smiling or acknowledging the other person by looking at them warmly and nodding your head. Different cultures have different ways of acknowledging others, but find what is appropriate in your situation and begin greeting your human family. Do not get discouraged if some are suffering from loneliness and isolation and do not acknowledge you. You can have empathy from your own similar feelings. Greet the world with greater trust, kindness, and compassion, and the world will greet you with greater trust, kindness, and compassion. When you smile at the world, the world does tend to smile back.

 

LOVINGKINDNESS MEDITATION
One of the most effective meditations we can do to open our hearts and offer compassion into the world is metta bhavana (lovingkindness meditation), a beautiful practice from the Buddhist tradition.  Metta in the ancient Pali language translates to love or lovingkindness in the sense of unconditional, free-flowing love, gentle care and a desire for the well-being of others, no matter who they are, whether or not they walk skillfully in the world.  Metta is non-judgemental and non-critical.  And bhavana, also in Pali, means to create space for the metta experience, the cultivation of lovingkindness.  So metta bhavana/lovingkindness is ideal for opening your heart to cultivate empathy and compassion.   

Classical metta bhavana/lovingkindness meditation moves through 4 stages offering lovingkindness at each one: to yourself, to a loved one, to a difficult person, to all beings. For each stage, we gently repeat specific phrases that offer meaningful intentions and wishes for wellness.  Find a detailed explanation and the phrases to use for lovingkindness meditation HERE.

 

TONGLEN MEDITATION
Another meditation practice for compassion is Tibetan Tonglen meditation.  Tonglen literally means “taking in and sending out”. This meditation is about taking in the suffering of others and sending them compassion, kindness and healing.  And this receiving and sending is synchronized with your breathing, in and out.  Learn about tonglen meditation HERE.

 

*A book to inspire you: