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Last week, we began this part of our compassion journey with a gentle self-compassion audit. The intention was to notice our negative self-talk, our unhelpful mental habits, and any feelings of stress, sadness, grief, anxiety, or depression as they arise. To simply notice. I hope you practiced this with kindness and curiosity, rather than harsh judgement.
It was also an invitation to pause and acknowledge whatever was present in your mind and heart. How did that feel? Were there any insights or revelations?
This self-awareness allows us to step back, ever so slightly, from our thoughts and emotions, to see them more clearly and to simply let them be, as they are. And in that space, we can begin to treat ourselves with love, compassion, and simple acts of kindness.
Self-compassion is where universal compassion begins. When we learn to be kind and compassionate to ourselves, it becomes easier to offer the same compassion to others. So remember this golden rule: each day, offer yourself the same love, care, respect, understanding, and compassion that you would offer your best friend.
To support you, this week I offer six ways to practice some soul-soothing self-compassion. These are practices I use myself, and I invite you to try them all and choose what feels most nurturing for you.
1. Give yourself a hug - When the world is feeling heavy and hard, when you feel despair, loneliness, sadness or grief, give yourself a warm, loving hug. The touch, pressure and warmth of a self-hug are cues for the body to settle down and feel more calm. Scientific studies indicate that the pressure and warmth of a hug release endorphins and oxytocin which can lower stress and calm a troubled mind. They call oxytocin the “cuddle hormone”. So when you feel low, give yourself a cuddle as a way of saying to yourself “I need some support, and I’m here - and I can offer myself care and comfort”. Wrap your arms tightly around yourself in a great warm hug. Ten to twenty seconds of a warm hug is all you need to feel the benefits. You can even do it when you are with other people. Simply cross your arms and hold onto your elbows, squeezing them softly into your body. Nobody will know you are giving yourself a hug.
2. Interlace hands over heart- I often use the mudra known as Vajrapradama mudra when I need to soothe feelings of frustration, sadness or distress, or to calm emotions like self-doubt or helplessness. It’s a comforting gesture you can use as a sort of "shield" over your heart to soothe distressing emotions, to calm anxiety and stress. Bring your hands in front of your chest and interlace your fingers with thumbs pointing upwards. Then rest your open palms on the centre of your chest. Close your eyes and slow your breathing, gradually extending the length of the exhale (Unequal Breathing). Even a moment or two with your hands over your heart will feel calming. If you’d like to learn more about Unequal Breathing and other calming pranayama practices, find it HERE.
3. Whisper the Heart Sutra to yourself- I often pair the Vajrapradama mudra with a soft whisper of the last two lines of the Buddhist scripture known as the Heart Sutra: GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE BODHI SVAHA. It’s pronunced gah-tay, gah-tay, pa-ra-gah-tay, pa-ra-sam-gah-tay, bo-dee, svah-hah. A common translation is “gone, gone, gone beyond, gone completely beyond, to awakening, so be it”. I am not Buddhist, and I do not know the full sutra, but these final lines speak to me as an invitation to move beyond anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration and any other form of suffering. I was introduced to this mantra by Kristi Stangeland during a Feng Shui consultation, and I found it to be a beautiful way to quiet the mind and release negative emotions. For me, it feels deeply calming, and I have noticed that it seems to bring a sense of peace to my whole household as well (strange, but true!). Per Kristi’s instructions, I recite it nine times, which takes less than two minutes. I interviewed Kristi earlier this year, and she shared a beautiful rendition of the Heart Sutra mantra that shows us the pronunciation, and you can find it in the article HERE, toward the middle of the article.
4. Give yourself the gift of meditation - Meditation can boost every aspect of your life including your health, well-being, your performance, and it can bring a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment to your entire experience of life. It’s a way to find fresh solutions, see endless possibilities, a way to find more happiness, more creativity, insights and inspiration for your life. If you don’t yet have a daily meditation practice, start HERE. And you might consider joining Kristi Stangeland’s My Paravita Circle, a group of lovely supportive women where you can learn meditation techniques and join weekly live meditations. Learn more HERE.
5. Reach out to a caring friend- One of the best ways we can offer compassion to another person is to listen mindfully, to be fully present for them, without feeling like we have to solve everything. You can expect the same for yourself from a caring and compassionate friend. When you are suffering in any way, feeling low or working through something difficult, choose the right friend to call and simply ask them to be there for you. You will find the right words to let them know what you need…and what you don’t need.
6. Softly rock back and forth - There’s a practice called somatic rocking, a slow and gentle rocking motion side to side, back and forth, or in a circular motion. It’s a little care and kindness you can offer to your body to help to release difficult emotions or tensions it may be holding. And it can help your nervous system calm down…sort of like a soothing lullaby. You might have tried Apanasana pose as part of your yoga practice, lying on your back and hugging your knees and gently rocking them into your chest. It can feel very calming. This is a form of somatic rocking. You can also practice somatic rocking in a seated or standing position. Simply sit or stand comfortably. Then gently make small and slow rocking movements, side to side, back to front, in a way that feels soft and soothing. You may wish to place a hand over your heart or belly. Notice how it feels to offer yourself a few moments of care and kindness.
And here are 30 more ways to simply be kind to yourself this week.
A community to fuel your wellness…and your curiosity
I met Lisa Borden a few years ago at the Toronto Yoga Show, and we have stayed connected ever since. I admire her dynamic entrepreneurial spirit, her creativity, and the beautiful community she has created. She is kind, compassionate, and generous, something that comes through whether you chat with her or follow her on social media. Lisa founded The Wellness Intelligence Collective (TWIC), a private, ad-free online community of caring human beings. At TWIC, you’ll find trusted resources like “Lessons in Empathy Economics”, self-care practices, and “Exercise Snacks” — small micro-practices that support calm, flow, and energy. You’ll also meet beautiful human beings and find open conversations that matter, along with the freedom to question, think, and grow in good company. If you feel curious, I hope you’ll explore TWIC — you can try it for free, Pay Your Own Value, or become a Key Member. Learn more HERE.
HUM is here to inspire and empower you in your practice…
Your yoga and meditation practice is sacred personal time; your home sanctuary is sacred space, a haven, a place to practice, reflect, recover, to just be as you are. These are gifts to yourself. And HUM is always here to inspire and empower you on that journey. Explore our free resources and beautiful collections.
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